….I was told I had cervical cancer!
Sitting here today it doesn’t seem real, either in terms of it being a year ago, or that it was me! But, it was very real and it was definitely me, so this seemed like as good a day as any to start writing a blog about what my life is like now!
During my treatment I wrote a bit of a diary on and off, but generally I’m quite a private person and never felt the need or desire to ‘blog’. A friend of mine had a baby just as I started treatment and a few weeks ago she started a blog about how her life had changed since having her little bubba and that made me sit up and take notice. A lot of the things she described matched how I felt – life has completely changed, and the change feels pretty permanent, some days are easier than others, a lot of things take a lot more thought and time and you struggle to find ‘the right’ way. The main difference was that where she lacked sleep, I had loads and of course that tiny matter of no long term bundle of joy for me.
My aim with this is to just write about the now, I don’t intend it to be about the last year. Although that may come up, but what I really want is to help others who may have ‘survived’ cancer only to find their lives turned upside down and inside out and no idea where to go or what to do next – that’s pretty much how I feel on and off and I’m told that’s common. So hopefully, this will help you know you are not alone, I don’t have the answers but if there is one thing I have definitely learnt over the last year, it’s that there is nothing as helpful as knowing there are other people out there going through the same stuff, and from what I can gather, pretty much every reaction to cancer is “normal”!!!
As today is a bit of a weird day – oddly I feel proud of the fact I was diagnosed a year ago – almost a bit of a “I’ve beaten cancer for a year” mentality. It was a tough year (understatement) but I was told there is no evidence of disease in April and so I’m now working towards a check up in August, another one in January and then I’ll go to six monthly appointments. When I look back on the last year I do feel proud of myself and the fact that I am here now, getting my fitness back (slowly) and generally improving my health. I feel like I’ve actually achieved something amazing.
In honour of that, I have booked myself in for a neck,shoulder and back massage this evening at a local spa – it’s good to have a treat and this one seems well deserved (and better for the waistline than chocolate!)
So, I have no idea where I will be this time next year in terms of work or relationship, but I hope you enjoy this journey with me and we can build lives after cancer together
Debbie x
Debbie's Life After Cancer 